Are the Repeat Matrix-Eidolon Lives Really Parallel Selves?
Last night's dream
(quoting from my bedside tape recorder):
“I don’t what this is. If this is the 2nd attention it’s even crazier than I thought. Maybe I am getting a taste of the really distant parallel selves, not simply the left side of this life but a whole other Universe? I don’t know. This was not an ordinary dream. It wasn't even an ordinary second attention experience. Christ. I don’t know what the fuck it was. God almighty. Who am I?”
I will spare you all the full content of the Dream, but here are few fragments:
There is this big roomful of people. A girl I used to know comes up and lays into me with a vicious verbal attack. This witch is full of hatred and I have to try and stop her. I wave my left hand at her and I say “You’ve got death in your pussy,” and tell her she is going to die because of a disease inside her. It’s not a curse. I am telling her what I see. She looks frightened and ceases her attack, starts asking me if it’s true. I walk away and go to this woman who is my ex-wife, only she seems to also be a light-skinned negro. Yet it is definitely her. She is wearing a turquoise dress. I say to her (this is intensely real now): “I don’t want to spend too much time over this because I am starting to remember what I worked so hard to forget.”
This guy shows up. His name is “Bling.” He reminds me of a guy I know, in fact he’s a different version of him. He is with two other guys whom I also recognize as alternate versions of people I know—they are parallel universe beings. I say to one of them, “You’re like—— I ask him how two versions of the same person can be so different, and yet be aware of each other (or is it that I wonder how one can be aware of the other, but not vice versa?). None of them has an answer. We all have the same thought at the same time: if Castaneda couldn’t describe this in a way that was comprehensible in six books (actually ten), then we sure as hell can’t do it in half an hour! I joke, “I guess that’s why those books are such a relief to read—they confirm what we already know!” Then we all say simultaneously, “I knew I was mad!”
It’s a joke, but it’s a damn serious one.
I woke up sweating right after that.
The 2nd attention is about as weird as it gets, but at least people are recognizable there. In this case, the people I knew were not their first attention selves at all (yet they were still recognizable).
This dream followed a conversation I had the night before about Tony's thesis, in which myself and a friend attempted to reconcile AP's idea with that of reincarnation. We reached the same conclusion in different ways. My friend's idea was that BEFORE a Daimon can reincarnate (i.e., create a new Eidolon), it must first perfect the life of its current Eidolon, in other words, spend however many aeons needed in the "simulator-Matrix," until that User-ID is fully completed. At this point (or so I argued) it fuses all the different Eidolon-lives into a single "memory-strand" (aspect of the Daimon), and returns to the timestream for a new incarnation.
My idea was similar but not the same: I imagined the Daimon, rather than simply staying close to the IMAX-simulation zone until the Eidolon is perfected, leaving a part of itself in the Matrix-IMAX and then reincarnating in Real Time, missing that fragment of its Totality. This is then really a question whether the many similar-but-not-identical lives exist in time or in space, so since we live in a spacetime continuum, it is really six of one half a dozen of the other.
But here I posit the idea of the IMAX/Matrix multiple life-runs being synonymous with parallel selves exisiting simultaenously - right now - with our current selves, only in other Universes. You may ask, what's the difference. I'd say the answer is this: the Daimonic objective would then be less to "perfect a life" through repeat simulations, amd rather to bring together all the parallel selves that are living now, into a single fused consciousness, that of the Daimon.
This wouldn't be the ultimate goal, however, only the ultimate goal of that particular incarnation. Subsequent incarnations would increase the capacity of each new Eidolon to encompass a larger portion of the total awareness of the Daimon, until the final incarnation, which would fuse together, not only all the multiple parallel selves of that life, but those of ALL LIVES, through Space and Time.
And thou Art that.
And we wonder why we have trouble remembering our dreams?!