Wednesday 5 March 2008
Electricity
I was diagnosed with epilepsy a long time ago. I’ve had blinding migraines ever since I came back from the NDE – it’s those electric storms in the brain. I went to UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute and the doctors tried to figure out my brain stormage.
I’m also precognitive, and this is my least favorite aspect of being a poster child for ITLAF. The precognition tends to center around an ability to see Death coming. I even have a theory for this – because I died and came back, I see Death coming because I know the vibration of the experience. It may also be the time loop thingie, but I see so much of the future before it happens that I truly hope that theory doesn’t apply because I don’t think it’s fair to see all this Death lifetime after lifetime.
Having excess electricity in the brain makes me not all that enthused about electricity in my environment. I bring this up because about a month ago I had another precognitive episode and it involved my big new widescreen tv which is kept waaaaaaay on the other side of the room so as not to over-expose my delicate little brain to its output.
It was nighttime, and rather using the remote I walked over to the tv to turn it off. As I did so I heard a pop, and turned around. Standing in the darkness was someone I knew only vaguely, life-size, radiating a funny glow. He was staring past me, blank expression, I could see him perfectly, then he disappeared. 3 days later he died. The death was a shock because he was a young man and healthy. But then Death is always a shock.
What I noted in the moment was the clarity of the vision and that accompanying pop from the tv. So much so that my first thought was, what the hell is this guy doing in my house? I think the electricity amped up the vision and gave it that glow. Usually my visions don’t have that glow.
The dying of others upsets me tremendously, especially the ones I see before they happen. It’s been one of the hardest things to live with. Why should I see something I usually can’t change? Truthfully, I resent it.
I’m also precognitive, and this is my least favorite aspect of being a poster child for ITLAF. The precognition tends to center around an ability to see Death coming. I even have a theory for this – because I died and came back, I see Death coming because I know the vibration of the experience. It may also be the time loop thingie, but I see so much of the future before it happens that I truly hope that theory doesn’t apply because I don’t think it’s fair to see all this Death lifetime after lifetime.
Having excess electricity in the brain makes me not all that enthused about electricity in my environment. I bring this up because about a month ago I had another precognitive episode and it involved my big new widescreen tv which is kept waaaaaaay on the other side of the room so as not to over-expose my delicate little brain to its output.
It was nighttime, and rather using the remote I walked over to the tv to turn it off. As I did so I heard a pop, and turned around. Standing in the darkness was someone I knew only vaguely, life-size, radiating a funny glow. He was staring past me, blank expression, I could see him perfectly, then he disappeared. 3 days later he died. The death was a shock because he was a young man and healthy. But then Death is always a shock.
What I noted in the moment was the clarity of the vision and that accompanying pop from the tv. So much so that my first thought was, what the hell is this guy doing in my house? I think the electricity amped up the vision and gave it that glow. Usually my visions don’t have that glow.
The dying of others upsets me tremendously, especially the ones I see before they happen. It’s been one of the hardest things to live with. Why should I see something I usually can’t change? Truthfully, I resent it.
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14 comments:
Athamandia,
Thank you for contributing such a personal and meaningful post.
I was speaking to Tony just yesterday on these types of phenemonenally precognitive incidents; indeed hello to Karen ( a fellow poster on here) who emailed me directly on this matter recently; and my previous post on my friend Emma's "Smell Precognition".
Given my "Virgin Life" hypothesis I asked Tony yesterday if he'd ever experienced any Deja Vu around me. He said he had not, which is in line with my theory that IF this is indeed my "Virgin Life" then I can NOT have had any previous existence within the phaneron of anyone, thereby preventing any precognitive or Deja Vu/Vecu experiences involving me.
In your case Athamandia, I would suspect similar, but as part of my own ongoing research into the Mental Health aspects of Time Dilation, Precognition and Epileptic Auras I would be interested to talk to you further (on this plane or the Astral)
*wink to previous discussions*
But welcome Athamandia, I have a feeling you will be a valued contributor to our community of cerebral celebration. Or Something.
*smile*
My apologies that my initial response is that of a five year old
"WOW COOOOL!!"
Meanwhile in grown up land...
Thank you for your post, more of what Karl said and welcome. Great post and so sorry to hear how it has upset you.
Karl, quick, say something funnny
I'm only glad you've raised your initial responses to those of a FIVE year old mate.
*smile*
Athamanida, I've been thinking of your "pop". In my own research talking to many people who live with varying degrees of Mental Illness I remember a chat with a particular guy regarding his pre-epileptic aura which was initially olfactory in that he smelled burning but also auditory in the form of a "pop". I postulated the reasonably well known theory of neuronal synaptic firing as the potential burning smell but the "pop" interested me as Tony tells his story of meeting "Margaret" at Gatwick Airport where she relates the experience of hearing a "pop" over her shoulder and seeing everything around her STOP. But on closer inspection everything was moving incredibly slowly and background humming was actually people's conversations. Margaret told Tony how for hours (in her own Minkowskian timeline) she was watching everyone move almost inperceptively slowly, coffee dripping almost atom by atom into the coffee cup, and then "pop" everyone jumped back into motion and Margaret's friend asked her if she was ok as she'd been "staring at her" for the last couple of seconds (but to Margaret the duration had been much longer).
Athamandia,
Sometimes the accuracy of CTF and ITLAD as told to me by TLEes such as yourself still takes my breath away (cue for a song?), and I wrote the damn thing!
You may all be very interested to know that on Friday I am meeting up with somebody local to my home who has been a TLR for many years and recently had an operation on his temporal lobes (as I understand it a small section - I assume the focus - was cut out). I can only further assume that this focus was found by using the modern-day version of Penfield's electrode.
He contacted me after seeing my YouTube Video. It seems that since the operation he is 'absence' free but he is now receiving amazingly strong precognitive (Type Two as I term them in my next book) deja vu experiences. He tells me that he is so out of time that he finishes stories for people. I am very excited about this because if I can find some way of recording one of these precognitions as they take place I will have absolute proof of at least one element of ITLAD and CTF.
I will,but only with his permission, post the results of our meeting. indeed I am hoping that he will join in as a full member of this blog and describe his experiences for us.
Indeed the whole TLE element is for me the most fascinating of all the components of CTF, particularly as on at least four occasions during my lectures (and I have witnesses to this happening)a member of the audience will stand up and announce to everybody that the are a temporal lobe epileptic and that 'something' made tem come along to my talk.
I wonder if the collective Daemonic consciousness is aware of my work and feels that now is the time for their existence to be revealed?
What does Angel think about this?
Fascinating stuff w/the temporal lobes, and a man out of Time. Wow.
Hahahahaha. Well, if the Angel had no interest in your work, Tony, you never would have heard from this li'l ol' eidolon. I whine a lot, but I go where he leads.
As I undertand it from the Angel, humanity's deterioration, as reflected in the state of the environment, is quickly becoming so severe that extraordinary rescue measures seem likely. Sort of like ropes being dropped down from on high, doors are opened more easily, secrets aren't quite so secret anymore, in the hope that something can be done for more humans. I would tend to include knowledge of the Daemon along these lines.
I know humanity thinks they're advancing with all their material accomplishments, but the things we now use machines for were once done by us internally. Our reliance on machines is an indication of our regression. Humans have gone backwards and.....truly, I don't like to speak Apocalypse, I mistrust all predictions of doom .... perhaps humanity needs an internal growth spurt. Contact with the Daemon is the next step of growth for the individual human, once the physical, psychological, emotional and intellectual are functioning reasonably well. At least that's how I understand it.
Humans in large numbers who do no inner work create a vacuum, and Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature will respond. She's on geological time, so she takes a while to get going, but once She does we're not going to have a good time.
There. I think I phrased that in a relatively friendly manner. Let's call it Apocalypse Lite!
Cheers -- :-)
Ya know, I wrote that Apocalypse Lite thing and I need to supplement. (I’ve been invited here with the undertanding that people are interested in my view of things, so I hope nobody minds if I express some ideas about how I think the Daemon contact works on a day to day basis.) Shock and trauma have their place, by the way, in hooking up the circuits initially, but I’m writing of day to day contact here.
There’s a certain attitude that can assist contact with the Daemon. The problem with apocalyptic fear is that it tends to put the eidolon’s mind into a state of fear. Which shuts down learning. Apocalyptic beliefs should only be subscribed to by people who don’t believe them. LOL!
But seriously, desperate fear or belief tends to turn off the higher circuits. Another example of a posture that does nobody any good – a teacher who sets themselves up as a guru on high who must be obeyed. If you’re busy bowing and scraping, you won’t learn anything. Need to be on equal footing with whoever is teaching you. So that means eidolon and Daemon.
The Daemon responds to a light touch. I think if you keep your humor and a bit of objectitity, you become aquainted with the Daemon faster and more dependably. For instance, I tend to argue with my Angel because this is my nature. I was in New York the day before John Lennon was shot and saw my Angel at the Dakota. Angel told me Lennon would die the next day. I told the Angel he was completely out of his mind and furthermore, he was probably an undigested bit of potato and why can’t I be normal? Any personal Daemon worth its other worldly salt has no problem with an eidolon’s honest reaction to things. And Lennon did die, which was traumatic, but that’s another story.
Nonchalance toward the Daemon’s existence. Ya gotta be cool but at the same time KNOW it’s there.
Athamandia,
I think what you said above is of profound importance. As such it should not be hidden away as a comment but should be a full post. Can I request that you do this. We find that although some casual readers do dig into the comments but most usually just read the postings. I think your experiences and opinions should always be on the main page - if that is okay with you.
Athamandia,
I can't begin to imagine how frightening and upsetting these sorts of experiences must be. Perhaps there is some consolation in knowing that you are so much closer to understanding the true nature of reality compared with the "average" person. It is my sincere hope that, with time, your experiences will become more rewarding and less painful.
Thank you so much for sharing this priceless information with us here.
Dreamer,
Thank you so much for the two posts that you placed today. It is great to know that as well as the regular contributors there are people out there in cyberspace who are checking-in to see what is being discussed.
Clearly this sunbect matter interests you and it is likely that you have personal experiences or knowledge of some of the elements. Would you consider jioning us as a full blogger. I am sure that we would al be interested in any posts you would like to make.
If you do I can make a place available. Just dreop me an email at cheattheferryman@aol.com
Cheers
Tony
Really Tony? OK, I'll put it in a post. I'm still feeling my way about how to express these experiences. I'm truly only interested in galvanizing the Daemon experience in others, not .... oh I don't know .... drawing attention to myself. And I think you're a better writer than I, Tony, so I'm not sure communication via language is the path for me. But I'll do as you bid.
You're a sweetheart, Dreamer. Thank you. One of the ways I've survived all the upset involves something I don't know how to put into words. It's the physical presence of my Angel. He's actually very soothing when I get seriously freaked out -- it's a tangible physical thing, but I don't know how to describe it to others. It's like he wraps his arms around me. And they thrum like a force field.
Karl, really interesting stuff. I'm ruminating. Yeah, the pop -- it sounded like an electrical charge jumping the tracks. Usually when I see that somebody's going to die I don't see the person themselves, I see my Angel, who will either point to the person (if they're physically present) or tell me who's going to die.
This is funny -- people around me who know me know of my Angel and the death visions. My poor family's got some issues. Anyway, I've noticed when I tell men about the Angel they tend to look around, look up and down, and say hey -- you don't see him anywhere around me, do you? When I tell women they tend to inquire about my relationship with the Angel and what he's like. It's very funny to watch.
Athamandia:
This is very interesting as I'd particluarly be interested to see how your Angel would react to a "Virgin Lifer" such as me.
*ponders*
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