Sunday 28 October 2007

Reliving life before death

I have been interested in whether we survive death for as long as I can remember and have read many books on the subject one being 'Conversations with God' by Neil Donald Walsh. I must say that some of the comparisons especially regarding the "Matrix" theory are uncanny although Walsh's take on the subject is more overly a spiritual one.
I recently suffered a bereavement, my father-in-law passed away last month sadly with cancer and both my husband and myself had been caring for him for many weeks because he did not want to die alone in a hospital/hospice. We put our lives on hold and were with him 24/7 when we managed to get one night off the Marie Curie nurse couldn't cope and called an ambulance, ultimately he was admitted to a hospice were he lived out his last week. We were both with him at his passing and I was remembering how he and I used to sit and chat for hours about things such as religion, conspiracy theories etc etc and ultimately "is there life after death". This is really hard for me to put in writing because I loved him but, all the time I was thinking 'come on' tell me what you are seeing 'come on' tell me what you are experiencing' we talked about this many a Sunday morning whilst I was preparing Sunday lunch. Every time he looked into my eyes I was thinking 'tell me' and I feel awful for that. But, the strangest thing happened he asked me where his Nan was? then I realised he wasn't talking to me. He went on to ask where John was? John was his grandad. Now, my father-in-law was 68 his grandparents died back in the 1950's. The point Im trying to get across here is that my father-in-law went back through his life whilst we sat with him just before his passing. My husband kept commenting at his dad's ramblings as him going back over his life as he was mentioning things that happened many years before then breaking out of this recounting and asking us what the time was! and when we said jokingly 5 mins after the last time you asked he looked at us puzzled. Then a Macmillan nurse gave him an injection which basically made him sleep and 4 hours later he died.
The funeral was held 2 weeks later and for 2 weeks both my husband who is a complete sceptic and myself who is open minded had the most weirdest of experiences which I will describe later in another posting if anyone is interested.
I had a weird dream/thoughts the night before we were to hand my father-in-laws keys back to the sheltered accommodation housing association. I was extremely tired yet I could not sleep it was as though I was being kept awake?. My thoughts were constant and of only my father-in-law and it was as if he were upset that he had nothing of value to leave me?. I could see him clearly he was wearing the clothes he was buried in and on his tie pin instead of the words 'father of the bride' which his daughter had made for him for her wedding day the words clearly said 'Life Changer' and he was insistent that I had something from him to cherish yet no words were spoken?. He kept giving me impressions that I was to have something that we had left in his house yet we had cleared his house completely all except for the hoover. He never had any money he never had any jewellery he was a man of little means an uncomplicated soul yet he was insistent in my mind that I should have something that we had left in the house?. I never mentioned this to my husband and the next morning he went back to the house to take the hoover from the broom cupboard then hand back the keys. On his return he handed me an envelope and said look what I found shoved behind the hoover in the broom cupboard. When I opened it there was letters and photo's and a box. Inside the box was his mothers wedding ring!. I cried and told my husband of my sleepless night he in turn got upset but, at least I can make sense of my sleepless night as he had in fact left something of emense value behind in the house which I will cherish and hand down to my daughter.

1 comment:

Anthony Peake said...


Thank you so much for placing your experience on this blog. I am all too aware how personal this experience is but clearly it offers yet more supporting evidence with regard to CTF. In relation to your experience I am now going to place the section of the original version of ITLAD onto a full blog. This is the document I tried to send you yesterday.

Welcome aboard - I hope you find the discussions, comments and ideas of interest.