Friday, 2 May 2008
I love to travel, and ive managed to travel to many places in my country(alone as well as with family and friends) and my country is vast!( India) but as soon i reach the destination i feel this great pull /frustration....i feel i must go back..i feel i should not stay .... i feel lost.....i have this great sense of worthlessness ..i feel as if i dont belong ...i cant understand why this happens every single time......the rest, the solace,the excitement that i seek happens only during the journey......but as soon the destination nears i feel sick......i cant enjoy, i cant relax.....any ideas?
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Roshni, great, great post. I can REALLY relate to this. I have travelled a fair bit in my life and went to live in New York for 3 months on my own a few years ago. In the first week i was pretty miserable and wanted to go back, the following 11 weeks were the best i've ever had. Any time you visit anywhere you're not familar with or you don't know the people it's a great opportunity to shed identity but this can also leave you very lost. The things that essentially make you you are no longer there (such as the reafirmation of your identity through others) and it can be a very scary thing. I really understand what you mean.
Some people in life life to become a"big fish in a small pond", if you're not familar with such a term, obviously by this i mean people like to build there life from scratch; friends, home, social network & activities, career. Others like to seek adventure and experience.
I've been feeling very restless again recently and feel like traveling again in a year or two. The thing is i know as soon as i do i'll miss my friends and the security and comfort of routine. Home and work account for about 85-90% of your life and when you leav both of them you're likely to feel a little uneasy.
I still get that feeling of being overwhelmed and out of my depth almost everytime i go to London and i really am one of the most socialable and adaptive people you will meet. It's that little uncomfortable feeling you get in your stomach when you're nervous. But it's not butterflies, it's not as pleasant as that.
How old are you if you don't mind me asking? As i've gotten older i've become more secure within myself which allows me to give it time when i get this feeling now days. Travelling and meeting new people though is the spice of life and i'd reccomend you continue to do so when it feels right for you. You may simply be at a stage in your life when you feel it's not necessary and you have other things you'd like to work on rather than adventure.
To quote the great Ben Chaplin playing Matthew in Game on!!
"There are times and there are seasons, there is a time to surf and there is a time to wax your board!!
I guess one of the benefits of travel is that it makes us appreciate home.
However, it must be frustrating to not enjoy your travels as much as you had hoped. I too have experienced "culture shock" when traveling to new places -- it can make you feel depressed and even angry at first. I usually find it passes fairly quickly.
I think sometimes we idealize our future travels and have such high hopes that, when we actually arrive, the reality simply can't measure up to our expectations. We think we should be making the most of every minute of it, but sometimes we can't, because we're tired, or jet-lagged, or hungry, or we can't find the bathroom. When we plan and look forward to our trips, we sometimes forget that we'll still have to deal with the same basic physical needs and discomforts that we have to deal with at home -- in fact, we might find that these needs and discomforts have been exacerbated by travel. Alain de Botton writes about this phenomenon in his book "The Art of Travel," which you might enjoy.
hurly burly:..thanks for understanding.....i just wrote something very personal on this blog, ive not discussed this feeling with anyone..so i thought i should be brave and publish it....so thanks once again....let me repeat, i feel as if im with friends, hurly burly, i feel as if i know u already....im 37 years old and i am very interested in travelling.its my dream to travel all over the world, ive travelled to jordan and some parts of egypt, ive yet to travel to europe and america..which i knw i will before my physical life on
this earth ends...i understand the reslessness u mentioned, i feel it many times..whn things get monotonous..im a sociable and adaptive person too..and i love time with myself...thts the reason why i was so perplexed with this lost feeling when i travel.....yes its not butterflies in the stomach feeling..its something really sick that makes me feel oh! so dejected!
dreamer: thx for your comments...i will look up the book...and u r rite!...sometimes we get carried away with our plans..and when the real time comes we r not able to enjoy...
ROSHNI: I think that 'home' really is where the heart is. I left the area of my birth to go to university back in 1973. However I never lost my 'roots' and would head home whenever I had the opportunity. It was the place that defined me as a human being. Even though I then lived in London and the South East of England for nearly 20 years it was never really home to me. I have also travelled a fair degree in Europe and a little in America there is nowhere quite like home. As the American singer-songwriter Nanci Griffith writes:
"I want to walk the streets of my old home town.
Where everybody knows your name".
I also agree with you that the journey, not the arrival, is what makes travel so exciting.
I will be travelling around Sri Lanka in November. This will be my first visit to the Indian Sub-Continent. I am really looking forward to it.
Where abouts in India are you?
Anthony:I live in Mumbai that is the financial capital of India.
SRILANKA is a beautiful place...u will love the greenery and the wild animals...
Home in the physical realm or in the spiritual?
I know the feelings that Roshni, Tony, Dreamer and Hurlyburly speak of in that my physical home is where my cats are; but my spiritual home is Camden Town in North London.
At my physical home I am content and happy but at my spiritual home I am at one with my subjective consciousness.
I'm probably thinking WAY too deeply about this
(but then this is my way)
Well, the old saying goes *It is better to travel than to arrive* I cannot remember the author of it, no doubt one of the sharp minds here will!!! It seems to be such a Psychological thing doesn't it?? The anticipation, the excitement of the journey, the feeling that something wonderful will be at the end of it, that Happiness Evermore lies in that Destination... Remind you of something??? LIFE!! It is thus with life and the religious zealots who think paradise awaits *some day* when our Anthony has shown us the EIW!!! Enlightened Itladian Way... do the things NOW on the journey for future happines not after wards..
Oooooh should I be adding EIW to the ITLAD Glossary?
I've found that what is not elsewhere is not here. And what is not here is not elsewhere.
Being anonymous does that to you!
Karl's come-back to anonymous made me laugh out loud (really) at work drawing stares from my co-workers!
Ditto to Jesamyn's "Remind you of something??? LIFE!!" How very true. The pleasure is in the journey.
I have experienced a mild form of the discomfort Roshini describes. It sounds quiet distressing to her. It is amazing how the mind can manifest physical symptoms. I use lots of inner dialogue to get through these situations, always reminding myself that I am in control and forgiving myself for being human enough to feel.
Yes!our life is a journey that we must learn to live to the fullest!indians believe in KARMA...if your deeds on this earth have been good your next life will be beautiful...and your deeds also touch your childrens/grandchildrens/relatives lives....( here, next life could mean so many things!)
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