Embarkation on a voyage of discovery

Well it's just over a week since I properly discovered ITLAD. A week of synchronicity (well more than a week really), mind stretching and dreaming. The book has been devoured (metaphorically) with space in between chapters to go to work! It feels like rediscovering an old friend with all the joy that brings.

Let me explain a bit about how I got here. I'll have to start somewhere, although it's all a chain and I could go back link by link to my birth (and before!). Never mind ... the easiest starting point is my holiday in India at the beginning of April. I was stunned, challenged and stimulated into thinking about things I'd left dormant. I was provoked by the whole idea of life as an illusion which repeats in a cycle of birth and rebirth for the simple purpose of living a better life. I witnessed a different way of life where people seemed to be less obsessed with material things - I suppose surviving was enough of a motivation. I came home determined to find out more about Hinduism and spirituality in general. It all seemed to reawaken my awareness of a bigger picture and a need to find out more.

Work has been busy - it always is after a holiday. I work with children and families in regards to mental health. The week after my holiday was memorable because for the first time I witnessed a child I knew quite well move into a psychotic episode. Psychosis is unusual in children. I had never come across it myself. This time I was very involved in trying to help a girl and her family manage a very frightening situation. I observed directly the way she was hyper-aware of stimuli and in her agitated bewilderment she seemed to be checking out everything with an internal voice who was telling her what to do. It was a fearful situation for her which left her totally incapacitated. She hadn't slept in days, refused to eat and was apparently afraid of water. I was at a loss how to help her but luckily the medics took over and I was spared that responsibility. She was given medication and became less obviously distressed. I cannot imagine what was happening for her "inside". I feel privileged to have met her at a stage before she was sedated.

The day after I saw her in hospital, I was looking on the intranet in a casual way. It's usually full of boring information but it also promotes events happening locally. I was struck by a talk that was going to be held that weekend at a local library. I have loved the Philip Pullman "His Dark Materials" trilogy. (In fact I read the whole of the Northern Lights book on a train journey to and from Durham!) So when I noticed that someone called Anthony Peake was due to be giving a lecture on the Science and Pholosophy behind the books, my interest was aroused. So began a process of checking on the internet (thank you Google) leading to watching the video clips on You Tube. The whole thing chimed with things I had read, studied and experienced throughout my life! At this point I knew I had to attend the talk. I was as excited as if I was going on a date!

Needless to say I was totally blown away by the ideas Anthony was introducing. (And he only mentioned Philip Pullman's work once in passing! I'll forgive him though... those ideas weren't as new to me as the way Anthony links things!)

Since then there have been other synchronicities, the main one relating to a dream I have had throughout my life. It goes like this:

I am aware of myself asleep in bed. I wake up (in my dream) with a start because I remember I have been given some very vital information (possibly by God) which has been entrusted to me so that I can make the whole world suffer less and be more safely protected. Only I can't remember what it is! I wake up (in reality) weeping and shaking, asking myself why should God give me of all people something so important when I can't rememember anything! Usually it takes me about 20 minutes to come out of the trance and the feeling leaves me deflated all day.

I had the dream again this week but this time I held out my hand to my daemon at the point when I usually get tearful. (In fact I must have done this really because it woke me up!) Instead of feeling a sense of failure, this time I was quite elated. I had a sense of "bring it on!"